Vashti looks at her eyes in the mirror. They are rimmed in kohl, a thick black line that has no beginning and no end, just a continuous circle around and around on the soft skin that surrounds them, these strange eyes, windows to her mind. She stares into the windows, trying to dive deeper and deeper, looking for an answer for what she has done.
What were you thinking last night? She asks herself, as if these eyes could somehow tell her. She takes the pencil, dips it in the dark paste and makes the line thicker. Maybe more makeup will unlock the truth. She stares at them again. They tell her nothing. She draws two thick black lines in x’s across each of her eyelids.
She is done. She will serve as Queen Vashti no more. Now she must leave.
“Are you ready?” Mehuman stands behind her in reverence, the way that he always does. He is a strong and patient presence, serving the King as the head eunuch. He carries out the King’s bidding but never seems to use force with his hands. His tall stature and solemn face are enough.
“Just another minute.” Vashti sighs and walks over to her cedar trunk. She closes the lid, flipping the solid gold latch. It was the only thing she brought with her to Susa, the capital city where she is now. The trunk reminds her of the last conversation she had with her father before she left home, before she became King Xerxes’ queen.
“You know what to do.” Her father had said. “You know what the King will like, you do as I have taught you and you will be the one next to him on his throne.” Her father had packed her trunk, closed the lid and latched it. She remembers how he groaned as he hefted it onto the last camel in the caravan bound for her new life in the capital.
Once she arrived, Vashti did small things that made her stand out from the other virgin girls in the harem, each of them vying for the position of queen. Vashti wore extra paint on her face, never going anywhere without it. She swayed her hips when she walked, laughed loudly when she wanted to, and met the eyes of the King whenever she was near him, holding his gaze just a second longer than was customary. The other women were also beautiful, but no one wore their confidence around their shoulders like Vashti. That’s what her father had taught her: head up, eyes forward, be a presence that no one can ignore.
It was, however, one particular night that won her the true favor of the King. Vashti hadn’t been feeling well so she trailed behind the other women as they moved through the palace. They were ahead of her when she saw King Xerxes come through a door she was just about to pass. Vashti credited fate for it as she continued taking steps in his direction.
“My King, how are you?” She was quick with her words, warming them on her tongue before saying them. The King turned to look at her, surprised by the sound of her echoing voice in the hallway. He looked distracted.
“Ah, Lady. I am well, thank you.” He said.
The King called all the prospects for queen by the term, Lady. He didn’t dare learn their names until he had selected the one for the crown. Xerxes bowed his head slightly and continued down the hall, consumed by his thoughts. She knew she had to act quickly.
“My majesty.” Vashti said. “I have a joke for you.”
He turned, surprised by her daringness to speak to him. Vashti’s heart pounded so loudly that she worried he would see the movement of it inside her chest. She placed her hand over it in case he could. Xerxes waited.
“What do you call a man with great wealth, a thriving nation, much honor, and the envy of all those around him?” She asked.
He smirked a little. “What?”
“Xerxes.” She said and winced at the flatness of the joke. She could think of nothing greater on the spot. But his smile grew larger and his eyes sparkled.
“Ah, you flatter me, Lady, what is your name?” He said.
“Vashti.”
“A beautiful name, for a beautiful woman.” He said.
He took a step toward her and she lost her breath in her throat. She forced herself to hold his gaze, her head high, her eyes locked into his. His eyes were green with flecks of blue. They danced in the light of the corridor. Vashti willed herself not to faint from the intensity of the exchange. She stood even taller, staying as still as possible, flirting with him with her eyes. Neither of them looked away. Mehuman came down the hallway toward them, stopping in front of the King. He looked from Xerxes to Vashti and back again, then cleared his throat. It broke the trance.
“King Xerxes, I have a message for you about Greece. Very urgent.” He said.
Xerxes nodded breaking his gaze. He looked at Vashti once more and continued down the hall with Mehuman. Mehuman shot Vashti a look as they departed. She knew what it meant. You know you are not supposed to be talking to the King unless you are summoned. Vashti didn’t care. The defiance boiled in her veins, and she moved around the harem that night and the next day with even greater confidence. She had done it. She knew she would become queen.
She was crowned a couple weeks later.
It was after they made love for the first time that Xerxes asked Vashti if she knew more jokes. She told him the ones that she had learned when she was young. They were silly and common in her hometown, but he seemed to be entertained by them. He had called her back the next night and then the next. He began to tell his own jokes after their lovemaking, and then confessed that he had asked his advisors to bring him the best ones from the cities near the capital. Their laughter echoed through the halls of the palace each night that they were together.
“Vashti.” Mehuman’s voice brought her back to the present, to the trunk in front of her, to the realization that all of it was over and she was going home. Mehuman’s impatience spread across his face.
“Can I see him once more, Mehuman?” Vashti said. “Can I at least say goodbye?”
“No.”
“How can he refuse to see me?”
“He doesn’t want to see you. I know that he doesn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Vashti, he issued a decree. It’s now a law. You may no longer enter his presence.”
“Never again?”
“Never.”
Vashti felt like she had been slapped in the face. A law, the realization hung heavy in the air around her. She tried to understand the gravity that her King had issued a law that she could no longer speak to him. She tasted blood on her tongue. The sharp tang of it sat in her mouth.
It was her fault. She remembered the moment that she had decided that she would ignore his command. She remembered she was angry. She was spiteful. She had made a mistake and now she would be going home.
“Mehuman, what have I done?” She said to him.
“I don’t know, Lady.” He said. “Even I am surprised by what has transpired. I must say, I’m sorry to see you go.” He extended his hand to her, a sweet sign of friendship. She took it and bowed her head for a minute then stepped aside so he could carry her trunk out of the palace. She trailed behind him, trying to absorb the sight of each wall, each floor, each decoration before she was gone. She passed the room in which she had been reclining the night before, when she had made the decision to disregard the King.
It had been the seventh day of feasting. The wine had been flowing freely for all seven days. Usually those in attendance only drink when the King drinks, but Xerxes, perhaps high on the fumes of the impending battle he was planning, allowed everyone to drink freely. Vashti had seen wine steward after wine steward fetching barrels of alcohol from the cellar.
Vashti had tired of the partying by day three.
She was made to entertain the wives of the officials in a separate party that was held inside the castle. She thought that she would still see her King in the late evenings, his jokes making the endless droning of the other women more bearable, but he was either too busy plotting for battle or too drunk to summon her.
She missed him.
Vashti grew more agitated as the party wore on, receding further and further into herself as she watched her guests become looser with their lips, haughtier with their eyes and more foolish with their decisions.
Finally, it was the seventh day, the last day. Vashti was applauding herself on her perseverance, thinking surely she would be summoned by her King soon. That’s when Mehuman and six other eunuchs approached her.
“Xerxes is requesting your presence at his party.” Mehuman said. “He’s asked that you wear your royal crown.” She was surprised. Women were not allowed there.
She sat up straighter on her couch.
“That’s strange, he wants me there?” She said. “To stand in front of the other men?” It was illegal for a woman to parade in front of a group of men. Surely King Xerxes was making a mistake.
“I’m just delivering the message. I know nothing more.” Mehuman said.
“Please ask him if we can speak privately instead.”
Vashti hadn’t touched the wine since day three of the party. It had made her head spin, her stomach ache. It also ruined her sleep, sleep she needed to be fresh for when the King called her to his rooms.
“I’ll take the message, Queen Lady.” Mehuman said.
Vashti lay back on her couch, contemplating what had just been asked of her. She closed her eyes for a minute. Mehuman shook her awake.
“Queen Lady, he says the same, please come to his party and wear your royal crown.”
“Surely he cannot mean that, Mehuman.” She looked down at her body, the one that felt beautiful in this palace, that had felt beautiful in the bed of the King. She looked around her. There were linens of white and blue strung from the ceiling, fastened with cords of gold. The couch that she lay on had ornate patterns sewn into the fabric with threads of fine silver and purple. It should’ve been lovely to her, but now it looked gaudy, overdone and arrogant. Arrogant like the King, her lover she thought cared for her. Maybe he didn’t care for her.
“No, Mehuman.” She said with the last dignity that she could muster. “I won’t come.”
“But Lady Queen, this is serious, he has issued an order in front of all of the officials of the land,” Mehuman said. “He surely won’t budge this time. I’m afraid you will face dire consequences.”
Vashti looked at her belly button, it was exposed between the fine threads of her aqua and crimson gown. It was a beautiful belly button, she had to admit. All of her was beautiful, it was not a secret to her. But she knew that the parts of her that she cared about the most were not the ones on display. She thought King Xerxes saw those parts of her, the confidence, the intelligence, the wit. This request diminished her to just her body parts, to just her belly button.
“I think he will come to his senses, Mehuman. I think that he will see in the morning that his request is too brash.” She said. “Plus, no one will remember, they are all drunk on the finest wine in the land. Surely, it will do its duty, and erase all the wretched memories of this party.”
She looked again at the faces around her. They were exaggerated to her, the smiles of the drunk women seemed too large, their eyes seemed blank and empty behind their laughing. Their bodies moved in odd, jolting movements, strange and ugly.
She was done with this party, she decided.
No, she thought. Tomorrow will be better. This is a good decision.
“No.” She said out loud, with more confidence this time. “I will not come.”
Mehuman led the other eunuchs out of the room. Vashti rose and found her bed.
The next morning there was a knock on her door. “Lady Vashti.” Mehuman stood outside of her threshold, his head bowed low. “You are banished for refusing the King last night. You must pack your things.”
Vashti was stunned. Mehuman had her trunk open at the foot of the bed before she could get herself up and clothed.
“Now? I must go?”
“Now.” Mehuman said and turned around so she could dress.
Vashti closes the door on the memory as she continues through the palace. The halls seem to narrow as she walks through them for the last time. The caravan awaits her at the door.
“Goodbye, Lady Vashti.” Mehuman says as he places the trunk on the last camel just as her father did a couple years before. “May you be well.”
He lifts her onto the camel stationed near the middle of the line.
As the caravan departs, Vashti turns and watches Mehuman’s solemn face until she can no longer make it out.
###
Please consider reading the entire book of Esther. It reads like a soap opera of sorts that happens to be planted in the middle of the Old Testament. Queen Vashti, to whom I do feel a bit of empathy as you can see from this story, was deposed from her throne to make way for Queen Esther, who was appointed by God to save the entire Jewish nation in Persia. From this, it’s clear that God works for the good of those who love him. (Romans 8:28)
But, if it’s any consolation, the NIV Study Bible notes that all is not lost for Vashti. Despite her deposition, she later births a son who will become king of Persia. It appears she is also reinstated in the palace in some form or fashion after Esther’s reign.
This reads beautifully. Nicely written. Thank you for the notes at the end. I love the story of Queen Esther and I thought Queen Vashti sounded familiar but in my mind I had not placed her in the Esther story. (I missed the Bible verses reference right at the top!}
I know this is only tangential to your telling of the story--which, by the way, is nicely done--but I have always loved the name "Vashti." I thought if I ever had a daughter, I would like to give her that name. As for Mehuman, I imagine he did get tired of the immature, self-important antics of King Xerxes!